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 No child is born with good manners. Only over the years, as a result of personal experiments, he learns what is good and what is bad. And when he does something wrong, parents must intervene without fail. But how to punish a child so that he realizes his mistake, and this does not harm his psyche?
Effective discipline helps children learn to control their behavior in accordance with their ideas of right and wrong, and not because they are afraid of punishment. For example, a child will be honest, because he believes that lying is wrong, and not through the fear of being caught red-handed. The purpose of punishment is to help the child not do what is immoral and bad.
The firstwhat needs to be determined when introducing your methods of punishment is to establish the boundaries of what is permissible and the basic principles of behavior. Simply put, explain to the child what he can do, and for what actions or inaction he will be punished. By imposing sanctions on behavior, parents have the right to demand their execution.
Secondly, the punishment should be a logical consequence of the violation of one of the rules. And here you must remain steadfast. If the child does something wrong, the punishment should be applied as soon as possible, without delaying until the evening or tomorrow.
Thirdly, the punishment must be applied with appropriate action. That is, it should be adequate to the offense, while taking into account the scale of the "crime".
The type of punishment is also very important. There are four main methods of discipline. The first is physical punishment, including flogging, spanking with a belt or other available material. The second is verbal punishment - condemnation, ridicule using cruel words. The third is withholding rewards (a ban on watching TV, walking or playing games on the computer). And the last is the final punishment. For example, you will have to pay for broken glass with pocket money. The first two types of punishment, physical or verbal, are not considered effective discipline methods by psychologists. The other two sanctions can be used as disciplinary means.
In any case, when choosing this or that type of punishment, you need to be guided by common sense. Parents should not forget that abuse of a child is completely unacceptable, and in the future can lead to criminal liability! In addition, children who are brutally beaten by their parents gradually lose respect for them and begin to despise them.
And further. Parents need to make sure that the child understands well what they are being punished for. Sometimes children do not understand why something is forbidden to them, they may feel unfairly offended. Over time, this situation can lead to the destruction of the relationship of trust between you and your child.
Every time you need to punish a child for a misdemeanor, you definitely need to talk. He needs to explain what misconduct you want to punish him and point out that such behavior is unacceptable in the future. In addition, parents should remember that they are role models, so punishing a mess in the nursery when the bedroom is not clean, effective, and fair.
In order not to damage the psyche of the child, parents need to avoid corporal punishment, scare relatives (“That's when your father will return”, “Uncle Vasya will come and take you”), say that they have stopped loving them, tell strangers about the bad deeds of their children , do not use food as punishment, avoid too long instructive monologues, and do not shout.
Remember that it is up to dads and moms to provide the child with a sense of security so that he grows up in a calm and peaceful atmosphere. In addition, be sure to listen to your child, because he may actually be innocent. And use punishment as one of the methods of education, and not as a deterrent.
Katty
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