A woman and a man

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A woman and a manNature has entrusted him with paternal, maternal functions. And this alone makes them, in the language of old novels, "made for each other."

The union of a man and a woman is wonderful not only in love, in family life; and in friendly communication, in joint work, they harmoniously complement each other. Male decisiveness and inclination to take risks are well balanced by female caution, male sharpness - by female softness, male disregard for the details of everyday life - by the increased aesthetic demands of a woman.

It is known that only in a female or only in a male team work is worse, and the psychological climate is often more tense than in a mixed team.

The features of male and female characters are due not only to physiological differences. They developed historically, were fixed by upbringing, traditions, social morality and ideas about what should be inherent in a man and what should be inherent in a woman. The decisive role in the formation of these features was played by the different nature of the types of labor that fell to the lot of men and women.

Hunting, cattle breeding, seafaring, war often took a man away from home. Active activity in harsh conditions not only developed endurance, enterprise, tempered physically, but also formed some rudeness of disposition.

Martial duties, the need to often face danger face to face demanded the ability to suppress fear, timidity, cowardice, under no circumstances to "dissolve."

For centuries, young men were brought up in this spirit, and this sometimes went to the detriment of other human qualities, giving rise to excessive restraint, dryness, harshness. But given the moral and ethical ideas that existed many centuries ago, this did not belittle the man - the standard of his dignity was, first of all, strength, courage, readiness for difficulties and hardships.

By his very activity, the man was distant from the daily family concerns. The upbringing of children, especially small ones, caring for them, minor adversities and difficulties of everyday life unconditionally fell on women's shoulders. In his house, a man became, as it were, a representative of the interests and requirements of the outside world. In particular, according to the established tradition, he was responsible to the community, the village for the behavior of his family members and solely controlled them; it was considered natural that it was the man, the undivided owner of family property, who was given the right to administer court, impose bans, punish.

If a man was focused mainly on the outside world, then the woman was all turned to the family, her abilities developed in this limited space, in relation to his requests, requirements, interests.

A woman and a manThis limitation, of course, impoverished, but also encouraged the development of special spiritual qualities. The need to take care of children, sick and old family members from day to day developed not only compassion, gentleness, but also heightened intuition, the ability to catch the mood of loved ones, and quietly settle small family troubles.

Attention to others is one of the most attractive features of true femininity. A man may not notice someone's teary eyes, quivering lips, poor appetite, or unusual silence. It will not hide from a woman ...

"How do you know? Where did you get it? " - the husband is surprised when his wife asks: "Are you in trouble at work?"

He is sure that if he did not tell, it means that she cannot know anything. And a wife just needs to look at her husband to catch his mood.

The expression "senses my heart" is used more often in the female vocabulary than in the male one.And indeed, sensitivity, even a certain gift of foresight, explained by subtle observation, women are endowed with more than men.

Centuries of unequal status erected a barrier to the manifestation of a woman's many-sided talents, and only the emotional sphere - the ability to faithfully love, deeply sympathize, grieve, admire - developed unhindered, creating one of the beautiful features of a woman's nature.

Women's inequality - this greatest social injustice generated by private property, bourgeois philosophers justified the alleged natural limitations of women. On this occasion, spears were crossed more than once, heated disputes flared up more than once.

A hundred years ago, August Bebel, in his famous book "Woman in the Past, Present and Future" (later called "Woman and Socialism") predicted that in a society where gender inequality would be eliminated, a woman would be able to reach amazing heights.

The practice of the world's first socialist country fully confirmed this prediction. What arguments about the limited female destiny will resist such, for example, numbers. Of the total number of specialists with higher and secondary specialized education employed in the national economy, 59 percent are women. Among workers at the enterprises of instrument-making and electronics, women - 45 - 47 percent, at enterprises of precision engineering and radio industry - 65 - 67 percent. Feminine accuracy, precision of movement, and attentiveness proved to be especially valuable in such operations as assembly and assembly - here women outnumber men.

It is difficult to list all the successes that women have achieved, to name all those areas of the national economy, political life, science and art, where they have rightfully taken their rightful place.

The new position in society also led to a new position in the family. Material dependence on her husband has disappeared; the idea of ​​his sole right to make all important family decisions has disappeared; finally, the almost insurmountable obstacles to divorce (remember, at least Anna Karenina!) that existed before, which forced to endure any husband - despotic, rude, stingy, unfaithful ...

An independent, independent, active woman looked at her life partner with new eyes, began to build relationships with him on new foundations.

A woman and a manBreaking of old stereotypes of family relations is taking place all over the world before our eyes. Sociologists, not without reason, have spoken about the dangers of "masculinizing" women. After all, many have sometimes failed to avoid the too straightforward idea that being equal with a man means being like him. And they began to etch in themselves that which from time immemorial had been their inherent and beautiful qualities: complaisance of disposition, femininity of appearance and manners.

Working side by side with men, they imperceptibly adopted male habits, male communication style. Miscalculations of upbringing also affected: girls are now generally raised in the same way as boys - the same sport, the same jeans, the same requirements for behavior.

When one pan is raised, the other is lowered. Women became more active, more energetic - men “relaxed”, “feminized”. Moreover, today there is no need to hunt a mammoth in order to get food for his wife and children. And one does not have to think about the budget, one does not have to be responsible for the material level of the family either: after all, both work, both earn ...

These circumstances sometimes push back, obscure in the male consciousness a sense of responsibility for the family.

We often talk about how pampering upbringing is harmful for the younger generation. It is especially harmful for boys - for their future work, social and family life.

A boy who was cherished and cherished, who was surrounded by women: at home - loving, kind-hearted mother and grandmother, in kindergarten - educators, at school - teachers.The boy, who is used to the fact that his mother works, his mother goes with him to the doctor in the clinic and to parent meetings at school. A boy accustomed to asking the same mother for money - first for ice cream or a chocolate bar, then - on a tape recorder or a fashionable jacket ... Will he understand, even if he grows up to be a good man, that love for a woman is also the responsibility for her happiness? Will he be ready to put his man's shoulder in a difficult moment, not hoping that someone else will do everything difficult and unpleasant for him?

No matter how independent, energetic, and prestigious a woman is at work, at home she still wants to feel support and help. Yes, she needs it - after all, with her new qualities, she is still physically weaker than a man. Let's not forget that she is more emotional, her feelings are sharper, she so needs an understanding and strong friend, a kind comforter! And the main thing in which she cannot remain alone is in raising children.

After all, motherhood requires so much mental and physical strength from her.

In general, a woman has always expected and expects from a man that he will give her a sense of security. The collapse of such expectations gives rise to dissatisfaction with the marriage, complicates the marital relationship.

But a man also has his own expectations - he has always been attracted and will be attracted by the charm of femininity, softness, tenderness. In front of a decisive, businesslike woman who emphasizes her independence, he either simply gets lost, or begins to be weighed down by her, or resist her.

Wives must reckon with the fact that pride, ambition, a certain amount of vanity have historically been fixed in men's consciousness and behavior. Praise to the woman who will be able to subtly and imperceptibly direct these feelings in the right direction, help the manifestation of a man's creative abilities, mobilize his energy and initiative.

Let not everyone be able to play the role of inspirer, even if there is not always a need for this. But remember that a man is characterized by heightened pride, it is always necessary.

A man's memory holds a disdainful attitude, offensive remarks, and minutes of humiliation experienced. And even a beloved woman can lose a lot in his eyes if she does not spare his self-esteem.

The right to authority must be earned, who argues? But it is better to help a man get closer to the standard of an ideal husband than to constantly remind him how far from perfect he is.

A woman and a manSociologists note that those men who have lost the leadership in the family and who have been indoctrinated with a certain inferiority complex are more likely to become alcoholics. A serious signal to women: be wiser!

In young families and not only in young families, the question is often raised: "Who is our boss?"

Do I need to clarify this? Indeed, in a married couple, leadership is usually formed. One of the spouses becomes the leader in solving basic family problems, the entire lifestyle. But this leadership does not interfere only then, but helps to strengthen the union of a man and a woman when it develops naturally.

In the modern family, more and more often the traditional leadership of a man is replaced by "dual power", when both spouses skillfully drive the family chariot.

Each yields to the other the area in which he feels less competent. This is probably the best option that young people should strive for.

Equality of opportunities, community of interests, ideas, mutual respect are the basis of friendly relations between a man and a woman, their mutual understanding. But this is not enough for love. A loved one is not only close and understandable.

He always seems somehow incomprehensible, incomparable, somehow special.

And in fact: female beauty, grace, grace; female cordiality, gullibility, readiness for self-sacrifice; female mystery, subtlety of feelings.

And male reliability, fortitude, strength; male stoicism and endurance; male enterprise, efficiency, energy ...

In a word, a woman should not be masculine, a man should not be feminine.

The man's business is to maintain her femininity in a woman: the desire and ability to please, to be gentle and affectionate, the ability to subtle emotional resonance. A woman's business is to maintain his masculinity in a man: self-confidence, chivalrous attitude towards the weaker, a sense of duty to family, society, and the Motherland. In our society, the harmony of relationships, the strength of a love union, the strength of the family should be based on the true equality of men and women, the unity of their life ideals and aspirations.

V. A. Sysenko


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